Top 7 Benefits of a Military Marriage

I feel like I have so much to be grateful for since I am married to not just a Soldier, but a phenomenal young leader in the organization. These are my top 7 benefits of being married to someone in the military (some are dual military specific, others aren’t).

# 1 I never have to explain anything – That sounds really lazy. But it is so nice to have a common foundation where we can talk and not have to wonder if the other person truly understands what we are saying.

# 2 I have learned how to be a better leader and person – Having joined lives with someone who is a better leader than myself means that I get the opportunity to grow and learn from someone on a daily basis.

top 7 benefits of a military marriage# 3 We appreciate our time together more than non-military couples – What I mean by this is, we don’t like being apart unless it is 100% necessary. When someone has ‘girls night’, I don’t like going because I don’t want to socialize without my husband. Our time apart has already been so much, and we are thankful for every opportunity to be together. It might make people gag, but I don’t care.

# 4 I have learned to let things go – I never get upset about things the way some of my civilian friends do. I don’t have a very dramatic relationship, and part of that is because I know that most things aren’t worth fighting about. Time is too precious to spend it fighting when you are apart.

# 5 I have learned to communicate effectively – When you are separated, you learn to communicate better, because you are limited on time and methods. I believe that if you are at home, and your spouse is away, you should not bring up drama when you communicate. Your spouse most likely is looking for something cheerful and happy to hear about and wants to take their mind off their day. Learning how to be happy and grateful is a great tool and it will make your marriage better.

# 6 My independence has been reinforced – I have always been good at functioning alone. I have enjoyed being married, because we can depend on each other. Since we’ve spent most of our relationship apart, I have also learned that I am still an independent woman that can take care of my life and I didn’t have to lose that part of myself once I got married.

# 7 …But dependence on each other is what makes our relationship tick – My husband and I like knowing we are there for each other, and we have someone to lean on. He also likes to know that I can take care of myself when he is gone, but love having him home even more. I think that too many times, people try to maintain separate lives when they get married. In a military marriage, this can be destructive if you try to continue that when you are together in between deployments. Enjoy each other.

Final Thoughts: There are many benefits for both parties in a military marriage. I believe there is an opportunity for both to learn to be at your best, and it is a choice.

I hope this helps guide you in your marriage whether it is a military marriage or not.

chuck holmes

Chuck Holmes

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11 thoughts on “Top 7 Benefits of a Military Marriage”

  1. I think that one of the big things for a spouse of a military man is to be completely understanding of the situation he is in. Our spouses see a lot in the military, whether they are on the front line, behind the scenes or loading bombs on planes like my husband did for 6 years. They see things that we never even dreamed of seeing.

    I’ve made the mistake before asking my husband to describe what he saw – and he never has, never will. He is very private. And I respect his wishes, because he has seen too much, and more than he ever should have.

    But I do believe that it is important for our spouse to keep us in the loop of things. As a wife I want to be there for my husband and help him through the negatives of his job. So I find that to be an important aspect of a Military Marriage as well.

    Here are some of the benefits I have experienced from being married to a military man:

    *AWESOME paycheck and benefits
    *The schooling is great
    *Housing, Medical all paid for
    *We get to travel!!! I love that part

  2. Kathryne Melin

    Here are some things I think are good about being married to someone in the military.

    1. Steady paycheck
    2. Job Security
    3. Good Health Benefits
    4. Retire at Early Age
    5. Lots of Programs and Services Available for Spouses and Dependents

    My husband and I have been married 13 years and for 10 of those years he has been in the Army. I feel very secure about our finances, retirement and health. Sure, he could deploy, but all else aside it is wonderful.

  3. It takes a special person to marry a service member, especially in today’s world. And I’m not sure if the cons outweigh the pros. Constant deployments and war, lots of stress and time away from home, and pay that isn’t all that good.

  4. Justin Long


    Your #1 point I think is the best. I find that my girlfriend often feels “left out” of that part of my life and does not understand what I am going through sometimes. Being married or with someone in the service really helps to bridge that gap. Now, her not understanding doesn’t necessarily create problems, but I could see how they could. I like this post, along with your other post about tips for married military spouses.

    1. I think it’s tough for anyone outside of the military to relate to people in the military, even if they are married! It’s such a different lifestyle with a lot of pressure, stress and responsibility.


    2. Candace Ginestar

      Justin, thank you.
      I think your girlfriend may feel a little left out, and that is only natural. I bet you wouldn’t get as animated or detailed with your stories as you do with your buddies – just the way it is. Evidence of that being when I watch my husband and one of his closest friends who is also one of his team leaders. They have worked together many years, and whenever we get together with him and his wife, she ends up sitting there quietly watching us while we all raise cain about military topics. She is very patient and never seems bored though. I think she enjoys watching us banter about things because he doesn’t talk to her about it the same way. Maybe if you get together with some military couples you know, your girlfriend can experience the same thing.

      1. Justin Long

        I wish more civilians could connect with us. I think too often when Army people start telling “war stories” they just shut them out. Nobody seems interested in what we have to say.

        She does great, though. She loves the TV series “Army Wives” so she sees things there and can make certain connections. The hardest thing to explain in the difference between Soldiers, NCOs and Officers. She’s learning though!

  5. Amy Skalicky

    Candace, your points about communication and limiting the drama, as well as increasing independence, are two key issues I found when working with the FRG in Wyoming. We worked to solve problems here at home so that Skype sessions were not centered around issues that the deployed soldier could not only do nothing about, but, more often than not, ended up worrying about. We also had community members who volunteered to teach some basic skills like changing a tire, basic household maintenance activities such as unclogging drains, mowing the lawn, and finding resources when needed. I know it sounds simple, but many have not been taught self-sufficiency.

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