National Guard Zombie Training: 13 Cool Things You Should Know

Does the United States Army know something that we as citizens have not been made aware of? Is it just an elaborate joke or prank? Is the Army National Guard actually training for a possible zombie apocalypse?

The answers in order are no (but probably yes), no and yes.

In today’s post, we are going to look at 13 cool things you should know about National Guard Zombie Training. Now scroll down and learn more about this totally real training, but first, have a laugh on me.

“The baby zombie asks her mother “Mommy, do I have daddy’s eyes?” The mother says “Yes you do honey! Now eat them before they get cold!”

1: Department of Defense and USSTRATCOM

Just when you wonder if the Pentagon has covered all possible bases, we discover CONPLAN 8888. We thought zombies were only a work of Hollywood script writers, and video game developers. The Department of Defense working with the Joint military system of USSTRATCOM at Offutt Air Force Base near Omaha, Nebraska developed a plan to counter a zombie plague in the United States and her allies.

2: Reason For CONPLAN 8888

When you read CONPLAN 8888, immediately at the start is a disclaimer. The idea was no joke. There is always a possibility of would be zombies. We have noticed drugs that have caused those who took them to eat the faces off other humans. Some drugs make the taker “super human,” and it takes many bullets to stop them. They are in many ways, zombies. The idea that chemical warfare could make zombies out of humans is a possibility, and the Department of Defense made a plan for that possibility.

But, the main idea of zombie training is to create an idea so far fetched that conspiracy theorists would not be able to build something from it that could create fear in the population. The idea is a training on plan management and order development.

3: Plan and Training Objectives

CONPLAN 8888 is a mode for Crisis Action Planning. The idea is to support human population by utilizing 3 basic objectives. Those objectives are:

  1. Establish and control a defensive posture with the goal of protecting humans from zombies.

  2. If absolutely necessary, to conduct missions, if ordered, that will eradicate any zombie threats to human safety.

  3. Help civil authorities in maintaining law and order, and to restore human services in case of a zombie attack.

4: Types of Zombieszombies

In this plan, there has been listed various types of zombies. They are:

  • Pathogenic Zombies: These are zombies who were created after an organism was infected by some form of bacteria or virus.

  • Chicken Zombies: It is a fact that these type of zombies have existed in real life. Chickens were euthanized by carbon monoxide. Appearing dead and slightly decomposed, these chickens were buried. They actually came back to life and dug out of their graves and wander around until they actually die from organ failure. I bet you are hungry for some chicken wings now.

  • Radiation Zombies: These zombies are created after being infected with large doses of radiation. Could there possibly be zombie fish off the coast of Japan now?

  • Vegetarian Zombies: These zombies do not eat humans, only plant life. They are considered less dangerous, but they can destroy a large portion of plant life.

  • Evil Magic Zombies: These are considered zombie life forms that were created by means of black magic or some other occult actions.

  • Symbiant Induced Zombies: These zombies are created when a healthy host has a symbiant life form introduced into its body. The symbiant life form does not kill the host, but controls it.

  • Space Zombies: These are zombies that either originated in space, or was infected by a toxic substance that originated in the outer atmosphere.

  • Weaponized Zombies: These are zombies that are created to be used as weapons.

5: Environmental Factors

In case of zombie warfare, there will be environmental factors that should be considered both for humans and zombies. Consider these:

Humans

  • Any humans who have not been sheltered in a contaminate free and sturdy structurewill be in danger of exposure to contaminates or radiation that could cause serious injury or death.

  • Precipitation will be important to human survival. Water is a prime necessity, and the reliance of groundwater will be non-reliable because of contamination.

Zombies

  • Pathogenic Zombies will most likely be greatly affected by UV light. They will probably act more in night hours and will avoid the exposure to sunlight.

  • Weaponized, Space, Vegetarian and Evil Magic Zombies will most likely not be affected by extreme weather conditions except fires, floods, tornadoes, hurricanes and tsunamis.

As more environmental conditions are discovered, they will be considered in both offensive and defensive measures.

6: Operational Phases

Through a zombie apocalypse the military will use 6 basic operational phases. Those phase will be:

  1. Shape

  2. Deter

  3. Seize Initiative

  4. Dominate

  5. Stabilize

  6. Restore Civil Authority

7: Offensive Phases

Within the phases listed in #6, there will be the offensive and defensive. These are the offenses for each phase:

  1. Conduct normal combat training procedures, and HAZMAT and COOP training.

  2. Conduct a large scale training maneuver to show that U.S. forces have the ability to target and destroy the materials used to create zombies.

  3. Begin a limited scale operation to eradicate zombie threat.

  4. Issue orders for large scale killing of all non-human life, and order bomb and missile strikes against sources of zombie creation materials and any infrastructure supporting zombies.

  5. Target all main bodies of zombie life structures using all available military resources, while also continuing phase #4.

  6. Reconstitute combat operations at Offutt, Whiteman and Vandenberg Air Force Bases along with Fort Meade. Redeploy force to destroy any remaining zombie hold-outs.

8: Defensive Phases

These are the defensive phases used in a zombie attack:

  1. Conduct zombie awareness courses and ads.

  2. Conduct a large scale training maneuver to show that U.S. forces have the ability to target and destroy the materials used to create zombies. Zombies cannot be deterred themselves.

  3. Recall all Joint personnel to duty stations, and begin fortification of USSTRATCOM and other capable facilities.

  4. Lock down all USSTRATCOM operating facilities for 30 days.

  5. Deploy recon troops after 30 days to ensure USSTRATCOM facilities are safe.

  6. Deploy personnel to aid civil authorities in disaster areas.

9: Zombie Assumptions

By using a common sense approach, leaders can safely assume several pieces of information about zombies, and the military’s role in eradicating them. These assumptions consist of:

  • Zombies are un-dead. They do not feel pain or fear, so measures of riot control will be non-effective.

  • Zombies will become a stronger with each casualty, because humans will become zombies.

  • Products that kill germs such as hand sanitizers could be efficient in slowing the spread of zombie-causing bacteria.

  • LOAC (Law of Armed Conflict) will not be applicable in zombie warfare.

  • Intelligence will be difficult, so planners will use worst-case scenarios from books and movies.

  • Local law enforcement will address locally based zombie attacks until martial law is declared.

  • Chaplain corps should be fully utilized to combat Evil Magic Zombies, and any declared athiests should be kept clear because of their vulnerability.

  • There is yet no known cure for zombie pathogens. Constant contact with the CDC for cure possibilities is a priority.

  • To successfully kill a zombie, firepower should be directed to the head as the brain still functions, with the brain stem being the best target.

  • The best possible way to ensure zombies are dead is to burn their corpses.

10: Calling in the Experts

With no known action against zombies, who would be experts in zombie warfare. The Army leaders assembled a panel of experts. They were the top 50 scorers from the XBOX Live game: Call of Duty: Black Ops. They discovered that these gamers were all adamant that destroying zombies would take “old school” war techniques of up-close, hand-to-hand combat.

11: The M9 Bayonet

Because of the experts tips, all National Guard and other military soldiers will be issued M9 Bayonets. Other up close weapons of warfare will also be utilized.

12: The Main Idea

So what are the odds of a zombie attack against humans? Probably 0 to none. No, the whole idea behind this National Guard Zombie Training is to prepare personnel for the case of a large plague or disease outbreak. We recently saw an Ebola outbreak in Africa, and training like this can prepare officers and soldiers for a similar situation in the United States.

13: Are You Prepared For Zombie Outbreak?

The CDC has pointed out that being prepared means having a basic survival kit for zombie outbreak. Basic dried foods, water, medical needs, blankets, matches, and other basic survival gear is wise. Make a plan for your family and discuss it with them. Know where a secure shelter is that you can travel to. Act like a Boy Scout and Be Prepared.

Final Thoughts

While the possibilities are low, it makes me feel a bit safer that out forces are even prepared for this extreme situation. By training for a zombie outbreak, it also prepares our National Guard for other possibilities.

What are your thoughts? Have you been involved in Zombie training? Tell us more, and do me a favor…Don’t let the zombies get you!

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Chuck Holmes

SKYPE: mrchuckholmes
(352) 503-4816 home office
Email: chuck@part-time-commander.com

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