Guest Post by Lauren Oliver
Not only is being in service with the military very demanding and life-changing, it can be tough to find and maintain a secure relationship. It takes a very strong will and desire to work on and commit to a healthy relationship, and a military relationship more so. Not everyone can be compatible in the dating scene, but there is even more hesitation when trying to date while in the military.
There are some great resources, books, websites, community groups, etc. that serve to give advice and help to military personnel who are looking for love or a mutual companionship within dating.
I am including some basic tips to ensure survival within the dating scene. Here are 5 dating tips for military personnel:
1. Consider the demands of your job. Being active military means constant readiness to deploy, among other things. You should definitely be aware of the demands and responsibilities placed upon you in your job. You should also consider the possibility that these demands will not be accepted by just anyone. A person with understanding and compassion, and not to mention acceptance, will be there for you no matter how many miles end up between you. Make sure to be up front about what your job may end up taking away from the time you can commit to a relationship. The person who will be the right match must understand this.
2. Don’t be afraid to approach someone. If there is someone you are interested in, you gotta say hello! You will never know who, what, or how a person is and how they can complement and fit into your life if you don’t take that first step. If you go out on a date, and that person doesn’t seem compatible after all, at least you tried, right?
3. Browse military dating sites. The Internet dating scene is growing rapidly. A lot of people (civilians) are workaholics as it is, and this is a great way to meet new people. Military personnel—especially active duty—are busy most of the time. Any free time or down time can be used to create a profile on dating sites created specifically for military personnel. This way you can poke through others’ profiles and make plans with someone you talk with to meet up and see what you see.
4. Working with your time constraints. Most military personnel can hardly find the time to exercise for an hour, let alone go on a date. What if you meet someone? See if that person has similar interests as you as far as what you desire to do with your down time—as little as that may be. If you both like to work out, then make it a work out date. If you both are book worms, meet up at a library (if it is possible). The opportunities to combine personal interests with a date can create a secure foundation for compatibility as well as enjoying some of the time off that you receive.
5. Relationships take work—a lot of work! Military relationships are some of the most committed relationships in that it takes two equally strong people to build, maintain, and commit a relationship that has to be able to stand up to the test of deployment, time away from family and friends, and days to weeks to months of not hearing from your significant other. You need to be prepared for the work it will take to maintain a healthy relationship on and off base.
Dating is never easy. There’s the whole nervousness and anticipation, sweaty palms, and oh! the thought that you might be wasting your time! In the military it can be even more ominous. But with the right moves and advice—if you need it—you can meet that special someone and create a happy and healthy military relationship. I hope that these simple 5 dating tips for military personnel prove helpful; do not hesitate to find resources or advice if you are thinking about dating and you are in the military. Please feel free to add to/comment on the tips provided. If you have any questions, you can also ask and we will attempt to provide an answer.
About the Author: Lauren is a stay at home mom currently working from home as a freelance writer. She is certified in Education with a background in education, writing, and tutoring to help students develop their educational skills. She comes from a military family and writes articles about education, military life, and personal development.